woww~ long time no see blog~:D hahahahah:D seriously not active:D i'll try to be starting now because.. I HAVE A NEW LAPTOP:D WHEEE~ It's hp man~:D n it's silver~ soo cool:D hahahaha:D

Labels: Fun

Problems of myself:-
1. I am always speechless
2. I cant do what I want to do
3. I am always given orders in my life
4. I cant make anyone happy
5. I cant even make myself happy
6. I mostly give the wrong advise
7. I cant follow my own good advise
8. I easily make mistakes
9. I always pick the wrong choice
10. I always mess up my life
11. I am always depended on
12. I cant let out my feelings
13. I always cry without realising
14. Everything I try to fix becomes worse
15. I can fix people's relationship but end up ruining mine
16. Noone, absolutely noone, understands me
17. I have an unpredictable personality
18. I cant choose my own path of life
19. I cant take care of myself
20. I CANT EVEN TAKE CARE OF MY BOYFRIEND!!

I HATE MYSELF!! ARGHH!

Keeping feelings is hard.. Maintaining them so that they wont escape is even harder.. The anger within me.. Trying to let itself out.. But i cant.. I cant! I just have to hide it all.. And keep it hidden under my fake smile.. A FAKE SMILE! Pretend to be happy when the truth is, im not.. I am the total opposite of it.. Im angry.. Arggh! When can i let it all out?? It cant be in me forever.. I cant stand it.. It's killing me inside.. I need help.. Where can i tell it all?

Always.. Always... There is always a problem when we meet.. Urgh.. I hate it.. I cant bear it anymore.. It's making my head spin.. And now, i dont know what else to do

Labels: Azim

Azim coming to the mall later!:D yay!:D cant wait to see him.. I miss him so much.. I really do..

Oh, and i'll be picking up imai, azim and syamim.. Azim and syamim will be at syamim's place so i hope i can find it:D

Imai will be sleeping at my place later that night so yesterday i was busy cleaning my room.. So messy!:D hahahaha:D

Labels: Azim, holiday, Imai

Hmm.. Sunday afternoon, go to the mall.. Have hi-tea with my family and my dad's co-workers.. Next day, mall again.. Hang out with shaf, mmb, etc.. Maybe even watch a movie.. What movie? There's not much to watch.. Azim maybe will come but he's not sure.. I hope he comes.. I really miss him..

On that week, kamel invited us wiks to the mall and watch the movie, "Jennifer's Body".. Sounds fun.. Kamel will bring airay, imai and idi, shaf and afiq, me and azim.. A quadruple date.. But i cant come because azim cant.. So, he doesnt want me to go.. I guess i'll just follow what he says.. sigh..

Labels: Azim, holiday, wiks

yahoo! freedom time:D hahahah.. legeng aku ahh:D anyways, it has been almost half a month since I finished my pmb:) woww.. can't believe it's done:) time flies faster than you realise it:) hmm.. all the activities I planned for after pmb is not done yet:) Open house check, go to the mall check, watch a movie check:) emm, I haven't gone to the beach yet.. well, i'll do it someday..

Labels: Fun, pmb

woww!!:D not active.. seriously not updated.. busy getting ready for pmb.. 6 more days till pmb.. 14 more days till freedom:D then i'll be active 24hrs.. seriously:D can't wait till freedom!:D

Labels: pmb

This Thursday.. doa selamat.. for ka fina.. she's going to uk on the 3rd november.. woww.. time flies so fast..

I cant wait!!! because Imai & Idi, Kamel & somebody, Shaf, Mirza & Jihah would be there!:D wait.. especially Azim!!:D yay!! and on top of that.. the next day will be his 15th birthday!:D birthday boy~ my boy~ hahaha:D

I got it all planned.. since my history tuition starts at 3.30 till 4.45 and azim's tuition will be until 5.45pm.. soo, imai would come to the tuition place after I finish my tuition and we hang out while waiting for azim.. when he finished his tuition, then my driver picks us up and we'll go straight to rizqun.. there~ everything's planned!:D

hope nothing will get in the way:)

Labels: Azim, Imai, wiks

11 more days till Azim's birthday!! Happy Advanced Birthday Sayaang! You're going to be 15!! one year older than me.. alaa~ you're getting old~:P hahahah.. kidding~:D

Labels: Azim

Watched 'Autopsy' yesterday at the mall cineplex.. with Ka Fina, Ka Nadz and... Azim~~:)

It was fun, fun, FUN!:D

All of us were actually sitting at the normal seats at the back row.. but then the love seats were all empty so me and Azim sat there.. together:)

I was lying on his shoulder and he put his arms around me.. couldn't stop myself from smiling:)

I was all warm inside:) the movie was actually a thriller movie but me and Azim were laughing:D hahaha:D we're weird~:D

some of the parts were scary and I screamed a bit and hugged Azim:) I covered my eyes using the hood of his jacket but Azim kept on pulling it down.. hahaha.. meanie~:D

he joked a lot:D I just kept on laughing:D

Ka Nadz and Ka Fina went to the food court to eat dinner so me and Azim went to the arcade.. We took a picture there.. Actually two pictures, one for me and one for Azim:)

It was already late so we had to go home.. aww~ but I wanted it to last even longer:(

oh well.. there's some other time:) Can't wait:)

Labels: Azim, Cousin, Ka Fina, Sweet

...........................................

Thinking of something.. something that I don't know why I'm thinking about it.. I don't know if it's important or not.. all I know is that this is the first time I ever thought about it.. then a favour or as people say, a plead, came to me.. asking me not to think about it.. and then I realise that I can't.. even if I put that thought aside.. to the corner of my mind.. that forgotten thought will always haunt me.. I realise that the thought is not alone.. It is accompanied by a conscience, my conscience.. telling me what's right and what's wrong.. guiding me to my fate.. it is until then that I realise.. I have to do something about the thought.. not long after that.. a voice was heard from my heart..

"Don't do it! It's a big mistake!"the voice shouted..

I have to choose between two paths.. One from my conscience that tells me to do something about the thought and one from my heart that tells me to leave it that way.. I'm confused.. I don't know which path I should choose.. if I choose the path from my conscience, I could make a better future and a satisfying life.. but I would lose the chance to have a happy life that I have always dreamt of.. My mind is racing with questions.. all of them leads to one answer.. And I don't know what it is...

.......................................

Labels: random

I was searching for a flower at my garden just now for my science experiment.. Turns out I have a simpur tree at the back of my house.. It was beautiful.. I love it..

Then I remembered that the teacher told us to find for the scientific name.. so I googled it.. It was.. umm.. delinia something.. hard to remember..

As I was bored, I searched for images of roses.. there were many that I like.. like the ones below..





I especially love the colorful ones..

I wish Azim would give me roses.. That would be soo sweet.. sigh~

Labels: Azim, MB3o, random

came back from tuition.. veryy tired.. almost fell asleep while reading the alquran..

oohh~ But I had fun during tuition just now:D Me and Azim and the others were watching a movie.. a history movie.. didn't understand it because I was too busy looking at Azim~:D and well.. yeah:)

Sigh~ Fun~:) love him even more.. wished it would last even longer.. but it didn't.. oh well~:) atleast we had fun together..

I was supposed to read out my letter to Azim but I was too shy.. sorry~

oh and one last thing I want to say.....

I LOVE YOU AZIM!! I LOVE YOU!! I LOVE YOU!! I LOVE YOU!! MWAHHHH~:)

Labels: Azim, Fun, Tuition

accidentally fell asleep last night.. while chatting with Azim.. sorry sayaang~

anyways, sigh~ I'm tired.. came back from tuition, then went to a function and my tuition starts again later.. busy busy day..

lalala~

Labels: Azim, Tuition

wahh~ I met Azim at intelek just now.. I was wearin my new 'aladdin' pants..

he asked,"Wani baru balik dari mana? usulnya macam baru balik dari india":D

hahaha.. kejam~:D

anyways, he gave me his pictures and there were a lot! all put in an envelope.. and there was a letter in it.. how sweet:)

after that, I gave him his gift.. a heart keychain:)

then, suddenly he put a candy in my mouth.. well slowly actually.. aww.. thanks sayaang:)

well, after that we talked and talked and talked more than before.. I love him even more:)

Hey guess what?

I did a good deed today!!:D

I actually helped Fiqah to pass her maths qualifying.. She actually failed.. She needs one more mark to pass.. so the teacher told her to search for a left out mark.. but she couldn't find any..

Then Wendy asked me to find it for her.. So I searched and i found a question where she got the wrong answer but the right working.. I told her about that.. But she said that it wouldn't work..

But I knew I was right so I showed it to the teacher.. And hoped that it would work..

And she agreed!! yay!!

FIQAH PASSED!! :D

Labels: MB3o, qualifying

Back from miri.. home sweet home:D

anyways, my appointment was extremely faster then usual.. so we had more time to go.... shopping~!:D


i found the 'aladdin' pants.. the one that ka nonoi have been searching.. and guess how much it is?

it's only RM29!! freakingly cheap! the ones they sold at the padang was 28 brunei dollars.. woww.. it's twice cheaper in miri..

and I bought a monkey shirt.. i mean a shirt with the picture of a monkey on it.. it's cute!!:)

I was going to buy a manchester united jacket but then.. I was broke.. hahaha:D

went back earlier then usual.. around 10.. chatted with azim till midnight.. he said sweet things.. oh i love him:)

but he was bored when I was in miri.. sorry sayaang~ but he said that he was no so worried coz he trust me:) ehe.. i'm proud of you sayang:)

Labels: Azim, Miri

Today was the best day of my life.. At first I picked up imai and shaf at imai's house.. then we went to azim's house..

Imai and shaf was really crazy.. they were "Sehati sejubur" hahahah.. :D They made videos of them singing.. I was going to post them here or in youtube.. but they deleted it.. oh well..

me and azim had our alone time though.. heheheheh.. dont wanna tell it here.. private:)

well.. yeah.. that's all I can tell..

HAPPY 4TH MONTHAVERSARY SAYAANG!! LOVE YOU!! EVEN MORE!!:):)

Labels: Azim, Fun, Imai, Sweet

tick tock tick tock..

1 more day to go!!

Tomorrow is the day.. cant wait.. come on.. come on.. fly time.. fly!!

Labels: Azim, Monthaversary

2 more days till our 4th monthaversary.. and it's on thursday.. so we can meet!! cant wait!! oh mann~ I miss him so.. wanna hug him..

Labels: Azim, Monthaversary, Tuition

Wahh~ I miss writing in my blog.. it's been a long time.. since ? woww.. that's long... it's because of my qualifyings..

okeyy.. let me write down some details..

Bm1- it's okeyy~ did a letter composition about h1n1.. that's easy as I read all the news..

Bm2- some parts are easy and some parts aren't.. the peribahasa is hard as usual.. Urggh.. I am really not good at peribahasa..

Eng1- quite okey.. My composition for section A was 525 words but the limit was only 300 words.. hope that's okey.. in section B, i did around 200+ I think..

Eng2- unbelievably easy.. easier than the execises Ms. eh I mean Mrs. Salwana gave us..

Maths1- at first it was hard.. but then after I read the question once or twice.. I managed to do.. Pheww~ ohh.. and 1 thing.. When the teacher told us to putour pens down.. I noticed a mistake I made and quickly crossed it out eventhough I was using pensil.. hahahaha..

Maths2- easier than all the test I had so far.. Cg Suryani told us our marks early and I got 90%!! yay! but unluckily.. my rank was number 2.. the first one was Wafi.. He got 91%.. sheesh.. just one more mark.. oh well..

Geography- okey lahh.. but the map was confusing.. it made me dizzy..

Irk- no comment

Computer- arggh.. freaking hard! too much logical questions..

History- OMG!! seriously HARD!!

Science- Easy.. but I cant answer two questions..

Mib- It's okey~ not much to tell

DONE!! QUALIFYING IS OVER!! FREEDOM!! WOHOO!!

Labels: MB3o, qualifying

Oh man~ cant see Azim on Thursday.. because there's no tuition.. :(

Labels: Azim, Tuition, Unlucky

I went to Imai's house to study there and to catch up with the latest gossips.. It was getting boring.. 

Labels: Azim, Fun, Imai

Loving Azim even more.. Can't stop thinking about all the stories he told me..

Turns out he liked me before he even knew me.. But then he already knew who I was even though we never met face-to-face.. He knew from my khatam picture..

But... But.. That picture of me is sooo funny.. he said that yea, it is funny.. But cute.. aww~ sweet~ :)

Then, he also told me that he saw me sitting in the class during SSSRU last year.. He didn't knew me that time..

He said in his heart when he saw me,"huii~ sweet bini-bini atu.. mun aku dapatkan ia, inda lagi ku gunakan bini-bini lain"

aww~ how sweet.. and now I'm his girl and he's my boy.. and I want it to always stay that way:)

Labels: Azim, Sweet

Today is officially the best day of my entire life!!

Wanna know why? When we went to the beach that's why..

My sister picked him up at his house and his mother invited us to go in for a while.. So we did..

His house was so big and nice.. We went in and salam Azim's mother..

On the way to the beach, me, Imai and Azim sat at the back seat with me sitting in the middle..

At first Azim was quiet and so was I.. Then, he rested his head on my shoulder.. Aww~ he looked so cutee:)

We reached the beach and Azim carried our food.. how nice of him~

Anyways, me and Azim stayed behind my sisters and Imai.. We held hands:)

When we went down the stairs, we had to let go of our hands.. Then, there was this steep part of the stairs.. Imai was scared and so was I.. But Azim held my hand to prevent me from falling.. my hero~:)

Then we had fun at the beach.. We played with the water.. Then we took a break and ate our food.. My sister, Nonoi, was mean.. She made me as a waitress and asked me to serve the drinks.. I'm not a waiter lahh:D

After that.. We played on the sand.. Imai wrote "Idimai 2517" in the sand while Azim wrote "Wani 728 Azim" and "WA".. And it was big! How sweet~ :)

Then we were tired.. So we went back to the stairs.. But this time it's much harder.. There was a big gap between the first step and the ground.. Azim went up first and then he held my hand and pulled me up.. Thanks sayaang~:)

We reached the high part.. And we were far behind the others.. I took the opportunity to kiss Azim's cheek:)

Then we walked back to the car.. Our feet were sandy so we washed them at a nearby toilet.. The toilet was dark and scary so we washed our feet quite quickly..

There were swings there so we played on it.. Azim pushed my swing for me:)

Then we went back to the car.. Halfway home.. I rested my head on his shoulder.. It was comfy.. I couldnt stop myself from smiling..:)

Then, we sent imai home.. So it was only me and Azim sitting at the back..

After that, we reached his house.. I salam his hand.. And that was it :)

A memory I will never forget :)

Love you even more Azim~ :)

Labels: Azim, Fun, Imai, Ka Fina, Ka Nonoi

Can't wait for later.. Beach time!!

Labels: Azim

azim~ if you're reading this.. I just want to say that i love you~ And I dont anything bad happen to you..

Eversince I heard that your leg hurts because it hit something when you were skateboarding, I was really worried..

And your mood changed that night.. You gave smiling faces but it's like you werent really that happy..

My favourite sister came that night.. It was supposed to be fun.. My whole family was enjoying that night.. They were all laughing together and having fun.. While I was the only one being quiet by myself worrying of you..

I tried my best make you happy.. But you didn't realise that I wasn't happy either.. Then you made this big decision to stop skateboarding.. But you love it.. You stopped just because skateboarding makes you sleep late and that you know I dont like it when you sleep late..

You gave up something you love just because of me.. I dont know what to think.. You leave me speechless.. I dont know if it's good or bad..

All I know is that I love you~

Labels: Azim

OMG OMG OMG!!!

Labels: Cool

Went to Miri yesterday.. Dentist appointment.. Now my braces is orange!! hahaha.. for a girl who likes blue.. that's weird right?? hahaha.. nah~ i'm just trying it out..

Anyways, I felt guilty because Azim cant sleep as he was worried about me.. He didn't even have the mood to pay skateboard.. why didn't I go online last night?? this wouldn't have happened.. Oh man~ sorry, sorry azim~

Labels: Azim, Miri, Unlucky